Beautiful and Fragile.

IceHeart

This picture speaks to how my heart is feeling today.

Beautiful. Fragile. A little lost in the cold. Hopeful, in moments.

Water in the body represents our emotions. That’s part of why we cry – we are moving our emotions. Also when we can’t or won’t cry, our emotions are stuck. We have frozen them and they can’t move through or out.

Grief and sadness in particular have a nasty habit of getting stuck and frozen. Sometimes that feels safer than allowing those feelings to flow. Sometimes we heap insult to injury by judging ourselves for our feelings.

Like right now, I’m just having a sad and lonely day. And that’s ok, Lord knows there are good reasons why and I’m working through that. What doesn’t help is that I’m sitting here criticizing myself for letting myself be upset. Not really helpful you know?

So what to do, what to do? Do I even dare push the publish button? I certainly don’t want pity. My southern upbringing just balks at oversharing or seeking attention. Maybe I’ll share this b/c someone else out there who’s reading this and is feeling the same way. If so, big big hugs to you and know you’re so not alone in whatever you’re going through.

This speaks to one of the beautiful aspects of winter. Winter gives us time to slow down, to rest and reflect and move at a deeper and slower pace. It also allows for freezing and thawing and dripping as the stage is set for new life. The death and rebirth of Winter and Spring. It can be a cold dance but one that is made much harder by our own resistance to feeling.

For now I choose to open myself and my heart wide open in sacred spaces. To allow for the tears to flow so that new life can come to me and my beautiful fragile heart. I hope the same for you too.

Love Always,
Courtney

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