Looking at your Fear with LOVE.

How many times have you heard “The only way out is through?”
When it comes to Fear, how do we get out of it, or, how in the world do we get through it?
Inherent in every Fear is a kernel of truth – a Voice that must be respected and listened to. If we don’t, that Fear will not go away and can actually increase and paralyze us or cause us to act out in weird and subversive ways – sabotaging our own success because of Fear that we can’t deal with.
Example: I have a client who wants to start her own coaching practice, but she is afraid of going out on her own and has manifested all kinds of limitations and blocks to starting her own practice and getting clients. Fears of not making enough money… Fear of failure… Fear of putting herself out there…
Should I tell her to just “let go” of her Fear? Heck no! That’s totally unrealistic and thoroughly unhelpful advice. Instead, I tell her to talk to her Fear, because here’s the cool part about all of this: her Fear is trying to help her!
Underneath the self-sabotaging behavior that her Fear is throwing in her way, her Fear really has powerful messages for her. Here are the translations she was able to uncover as she talked to her Fear.
Fear of failure = Fear is really telling her she needs her to be thoughtful and allow room for growth. “Please make sure this is really what you want to do and it’s ok to grow incrementally. This doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”
Fear of not making enough money = Fear needs her to figure out a financial plan before she takes the leap. “Please don’t make us go broke.”
Fear of putting herself out there = Fear needs her to be authentic and to stay true to who she is and what she can offer her clients, “Please don’t put us in a situation that we can’t handle or offer something that we can’t deliver.”
Who is Fear? You are your Fear. She is her Fear. I am my Fear. There is no separation, so get used to the idea of looking at Fear as your friend and ally – a voice within us that has incredible lessons for us if we choose to listen.
Please try to look at your Fear, your teacher, with LOVE.

{ 2 comments… add one }

  • Jared July 22, 2014, 1:23 am

    Hey, Coach!
    Yes YES, choose love, not fear! Then you can love your fear later! 😉


    Your site looks great and I love what you’re doing.

  • Courtney King July 23, 2014, 7:42 pm

    Hey Chef!
    So happy to see you here! I watched that whole graduation speech a few weeks ago, and I thought it was stunning. I might change that title to Choose Love, Not Fear :)


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